I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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