That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
