We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
