question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
