I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you had me at cake vodka
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
