A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
