It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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