I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
