Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize