She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
