we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize