So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
