She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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