I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
