How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
