I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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