Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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