So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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