I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
