4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize