I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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