My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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