I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
