just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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