Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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