Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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