you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
