My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
