But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
