I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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