How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
