I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
