All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
