At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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