is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
