so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
high people should be assigned attendants
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Your penis caused this!
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