I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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