I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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