it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
