she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
