I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize