a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
