paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
