I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
