ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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