im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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