Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
