I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
