she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
