you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
