You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
