i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
