I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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