Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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