Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
