I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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