1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
