yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
