Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
