why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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