Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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