I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to sanitize my soul.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
