It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
