its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
